"I cannot say the smallest part which I feel." (Alma 26:16)
That pretty much sums it up. There's no way to express what it is to be a missionary. When you try, it comes out sounding cliche and cheesy. But I'm going to try anyway: A lot of people seem to think that missionaries are very brave for making this great sacrifice, for leaving their family, home, friends, and everything they know to live in another part of the world and preach the gospel. They think that missionaries deserve some kind of "congratulations" for this great sacrifice. But I think the thing that all missionaries learn is that it is no sacrifice. It is the greatest and most incredible privilege that our Heavenly Father could give us. It is an enormous blessing, to represent our Savior, to serve Him in the most intimate way, to see the Spirit change the lives of those around us, to watch ourselves and our friends become more capable servant in the Lord's hands. I've never been so happy in my life than in this period of time- at the same time I don't think I've ever been so scared, stressed, or uncertain- but that's what makes it so great. Bringing people to the gospel path, being an instrument in the Lord's hands, feeling the Spirit work through you to help other people return to God's presence, is the greatest thing a human being could do.
We have a Heavenly Father who is so merciful. The fact that He counted me- a flawed, imperfect, impatient, scared, timid little girl- to be worthy and capable of being a representative of His Son and His Church, is the greatest miracle. I am still so flawed and imperfect, sometimes I still lose my patience and get scared, but I am not that same little girl that I was. I can say that I feel that I've become a better disciple, teacher, leader, friend, daughter, sister, and will be a better mother in the future, because of the things I've been through here. My mission was, is, and always will be a reminder of the love that God has for me and all His children, and it's what gave me a testimony that will last me an eternity. As everyone says, not a day will go by that I won't think of my mission.
There's so much more I want to say, but I don't know how, so I'll use the words of some great missionaries who came before me:
"I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance, that I might bring them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might also be born of God, and be filled with the Holy Ghost. Yea, and now behold...the Lord doth give me exceedingly great joy in the fruit of my labors." (Alma 36:24-25)
"And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work." (Alma 26:3)
"My joy is full, yeah, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God." (Alma 26:11)
"And behold, when I see many of my bretheren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayers, yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me." (Alma 29:10)
"[She] cast [her] eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld that they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon [her] as if they would ask [her] to tarry a little longer with them." (3 Nephi 17:5)
"Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that recieveth understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together." (D&C 50:22)
"Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For the light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
"But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy and the ministry, which I have recieved of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:24)
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as I child: but when I became a [missionary], I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11)
And finally, what I'll do when I get home:
"And it came to pass that [she] returned to [her] home at [North Carolina]; and [she] cast [herself] upon [her] bed, being overcome with the Spirit and the things which [she] had seen." (1 Nephi 1:7)
For one last time, I love you all. Thanks for everything.
Com muito amor,
Sister Coleman
No comments:
Post a Comment